Pimp!

[flowsoffire]

A friend of mine just started uploading the original novel she's working on on Wattpad, so this is pimping time! :D

The novel is a dark surnatural story, set in a dystopian universe. It deals with several difficult themes such as mental illness, gender identity and religion, so here's your warning. Only the first chapter is posted for now, and from that (and knowing/trusting my friend's writing skills), I really encourage everyone to give it a try! This is set to be a really troubling, intriguing story, with deep insight and a blunt, acidic style. So yeah, I've got high hopes for it and I want to help my friend get as wide a readership as possible—so check it out and don't hesitate to jump on board! :) (You can comment through Wattpad or by using a Facebook or Twitter account.)

Link: The Margins

Summary: Held hostage by angels in a mental institution-stylized purgatory where the very laws of physics restrict free will, five patients decide that they've had enough and concoct a plan to get out by dying - again.

Author's website: Eliza Sterling (penname)

Comments

[eve11]

Read chapter 1 of your friend's novel. Very interesting. Our local paper here is doing a series of articles on transgender persons (not to mention my one co-worker who has the office next to mine who's been transitioning MTF for about a year now), so it's been something that's been on my mind for a bit, just gender identity in general and thoughts about marginalized persons. Your friend does a really good job of describing the protagonist's confusion at being woken up back at square 1, and I like how it's something like turning "genderswap" on its ear: the person is actually in some ways familiar with the feeling, as they started out genderswapped to begin with. The throwaway names, the strange setting, it's all eerie and unnerving, but in a good way. And it's also not everything that this person is, either. I really like the way the character was introduced.

The only thing I would suggest in terms of the language is that I don't like the adverb use of "jerkily": there has to be a better word to use there, or maybe that is just my proclivities and biases. And the POV change at the end of the chapter was odd as well; we went from Dorian's POV to somehow knowing who another inmate was and that she was ... bashing someone? That may have been intentional though, as a transition to the next chapter.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Hey—glad you checked it out and enjoyed the story! I linked my friend to this entry so she can benefit from your insight =)

I also thought the ending POV change was probably a transition, and that the jarring effect might be intended… That was my interpretation of it anyway.

Edit: my friend answered the points you'd made in a message to me, sorry I'm only getting to you about that now, hahaha. The last paragraph part was indeed a transition, into the next chapter's POV (there are two POV characters). The character was also bashing on the door, not bashing someone.

If you want to keep following the story, you can subscribe to get email updates to the author's Wordpress btw :) She's posted a new chapter now, I might keep on pimping for the first few chapters but idk. I'll see if I think about it, lol.