Fic: Got to run to her when she calls (Doctor Who)

[flowsoffire]

Title: Got to run to her when she calls
Author: flowsoffire
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing/characters: River/Eleven, hints of Clara
Genre: Romance/Angst
Rating: K+
Word count: c. 200
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Alone, and yet never alone. The Doctor turned back to his own time stream, bleeding light all over his tomb. The shadow of his wife hung all over him, always would. /A River/Eleven pack-of-feels drabble, set at the end of Name of the Doctor.
Author's note: This little thing was fresh from the finale, all swelling with feels. MY OTP. MY LOVES. Hopefully you'll enjoy it too. Set right after River's disappearance and before the Doctor steps into his time stream. Title is a line from the song Message by Syntax, which fits the moment in a SURREAL way. Actually, I'd kill to have someone do a Name of the Doctor vid for that song. IT WORKS TOO WELL. (And for the record, "her" can refer to either River or Clara, up to interpretation.)


It is sad when it ends.

Hearts loaded with ice, the Doctor managed to turn away. Inch after painful inch.

To the light. To almost-certain death. To Clara.

(Goodbye, sweetie, she'd said.)

How far they'd come. From Demon's Run to Trenzalore—to each other, from every moment in history. He could see her face under his hands with crystal clarity that wouldn't let him rest for many nights and days ahead, feel the exact texture of skin that hadn't even been there, taste her kiss like the sweetest poison. And he could still stand, turn, and think, and save Clara. And he would do it, no questions asked.

His greatest chance, and his greatest burden.

He survived them all.

Goodbye, River. He'd never wanted to say it. And still he'd found words, to tell her what she meant to him. (She must have known. She always knew.)

The echo of her was tangible as a cool mist, glass in his throat. It would not be dismissed. He carried his wife under his skin, shifting with his every breath, ethereal and ever so there.

He'd told her how long it'd been since he had let anyone that close. He'd told her that love was dangerous. She had laughed, and agreed, and kissed him like nothing else mattered.

Hard enough to bruise.

(They were never the careful kind.)

He paid the price.

Comments

[betawho.livejournal.com]

Fine. Make me cry.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

;P I'm sorry. And yet I'm sort of not… lollll.

[kaffy_r]

I've been surprised by how much pain one can feel over fictional characters lately. Your little piece here really encapsulates everything that makes me ache for losing this relationship on screen. The writing is smooth, but strong, and it really affected me. Thank you for writing it.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I know what you mean, lol. Fiction has a way of taking over life =P
I'm really glad that you enjoyed the writing and the emotions worked for you ♥ Thanks for commenting, it is really appreciated!

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

Oh, my achy, shippy heart. Yes, this, exactly. He survived them all. So true, so sad. I will be crying for these two for a long time to come. *sniffle*

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

So much paiiiiin ♥ Yes, it hurts. Oh, I'm typing a positively DEPRESSING post-Darillium Eleven piece at the moment… I guess the most heart-wrenching the better ;P
*hugs* Thank you for commenting! :D

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

While I generally like fluffy or smutty fic, after NotD I have been seeking some depressing stuff just to process it all. I'm even trying my hand at writing my first fanfic, even though I haven't written anything since high school. I have so many feelings and questions about it all! My theory is that writing it will help me piece everything together, but I haven't gotten figured out all of the motivations yet :P

And then we will have more pain to come with Eleven going away by the end of the year. I am devastated because he is my Doctor. But since we have six months, I'm going to try to ignore it for now.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Fluffy or smutty is great, but sometimes depressing can be needed… ;)
Oh, good luck with your first fic! :D When you say since high school, was that a long time ago? Well, if you've got a bit of writing experience that's already good—just throw yourself out there! :D
Writing does help really getting into the minds of the characters, so that sounds like it could help indeed…
And yeah… Eleven ♥ I'll miss that beautiful idiot. He's my Doctor too, because of River/Eleven—if it wasn't for that ship I couldn't have picked a favourite, but it OWNS me, lol.
Denial can be the way to go… the Doctor would agree =P

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

Yes, high school was many moons ago. Let's see...18 years ago. And now I've made myself feel really old :P Not sure if amateur creative writing counts as experience, but I'm going to go with it :) I'm getting close to having a finished draft. Then need to figure out if/how to find a beta for it.

Hee! He is a beautiful idiot. And my River/Eleven ship is only part of why I will miss him so much. He was the Doctor that hooked me on the show (I started with Eleventh Hour), so he will always hold a special place in my heart.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Yes, high school was many moons ago. Let's see...18 years ago. And now I've made myself feel really old :P
Well, age is in the mind! ;)

Not sure if amateur creative writing counts as experience, but I'm going to go with it :)
I'd say it does… Idk.

I'm getting close to having a finished draft. Then need to figure out if/how to find a beta for it.
Go you! *cheers* And good luck finding a beta!

Hee! He is a beautiful idiot.
He is! ♥

He was the Doctor that hooked me on the show (I started with Eleventh Hour), so he will always hold a special place in my heart.
Oh yes, I see… First Doctors are often very important. (I started with Tennant since I was a Barty Crouch Jr. fan, but Nine and Eleven each completely won me over in turn…)

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Age is in the mind. I honestly don't even think about it most of the time. Just that I am happy with where I am now :)

Technically I started with Tennant (Human Nature/Family of Blood), but it was so serious that it didn't do more than not keep me from trying again later. I see the appeal now, but Eleventh Hour had the brilliant madcap Eleven and sassy Amy that hooked me almost immediately. Tennant was hugely appealing but didn't quite make it as my Doctor. I didn't like Nine at all initially - so, so different from Eleven - but I can appreciate him now much more in the context of the larger story. I will have more trouble moving on to Twelve though.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Exactly. Age is in the mind. I honestly don't even think about it most of the time. Just that I am happy with where I am now :)
Good for you! :D

Technically I started with Tennant (Human Nature/Family of Blood), but it was so serious that it didn't do more than not keep me from trying again later. I see the appeal now, but Eleventh Hour had the brilliant madcap Eleven and sassy Amy that hooked me almost immediately.
Yeah, I understand that. Personally that two-parter is among my episodes of legend, but it's not the best choice to get into the series, so serious and emotional indeed and I think that to really get the depth of the situation, you need to know the Doctor a lot already…

I didn't like Nine at all initially - so, so different from Eleven - but I can appreciate him now much more in the context of the larger story.
Oh, indeed. But he's fantastic ;) The contrast is striking though.

I will have more trouble moving on to Twelve though.
Understanding that! *hugs*

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

Yes, exactly. The two epis were so much more interesting and good once I knew the Doctor. My favorite part of them (both times) was Martha's speech about who the Doctor was and the Doctor bumbling around the spaceship and 'accidentally' thwarting the Family.

Hee! Yes, will have to do a second watch to see what I think of Nine now.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Oh indeed, those were great parts =) I couldn't really name a favourite moment myself, though. Or maybe the kid's speech ("He's like fire and ice and rage, he's like the night and the storm in the heart of the sun…"), and the Doctor's goodbye to Joan. But everything was stunning.
Oh yes, you should :D Second watches are great… (Though I liked s2!Rose a lot less during rewatches… =P Nearly everything else was "oh you, you're a thousand times better than I recalled!", though.)

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

*hits head* I thought the fire and ice speech was Martha. So the quote by itself is brilliant, but apparently what I remember from the show is the emotion of Martha's delivery and I transposed the two. Obviously time for a re-watch. After I finish watching Torchwood that is. There's only nine more weeks to Dragon*Con and they've got 4 of the 5 main actors from Torchwood coming, so I'm sure the panels will be epic.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Oh, I had mixed-up moments like that, too! Rewatching is always useful, definitely… Martha's got another strong Doctor speech though, I believe…
Are you enjoying Torchwood? It's amongst the shows I'm planning to watch—but there are nine others so I'll basically draw straws ;) And I'm already watching some classic!Who atm…

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

I like Torchwood, but it's very different in tone from Doctor Who - way darker to start. One of my friends described it as sex, aliens and Cardiff, which I think is pretty apt, and roughly in that order as well. Doctor Who is family friendly. This is most decidedly not. It's in the same universe and some characters may pop up between them, but it's a cop-ish mystery of the week theme instead of exploring/adventuring of the week theme. Jack is in it, which is fantastic, but it's a different Jack. He's in charge of Torchwood, so he's the straight man instead of the comic relief. There are hints of suggestiveness from him, but so far on epi 9 or so, that's about it. It took me a few epis to get used to the format/tone, but I'm definitely enjoying it now.

Will be tackling Classic Who sometime after I finish Torchwood and before the Anniversary special at the end of November so if you have any tips, let me know. I am planning a selective watch, not to tackle all 700 epis.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Okay! Yes, that's roughly what I heard from everyone I know who watches Torchwood. I'm curious about it, so I think I'll give it a try sooner or later… We'll see if I enjoy the tone! =) Thanks a lot for the detailed opinion!
I definitely will if I can think of anything, though if I carry on watching in order, I might not be the best person to give you selective advice ;) Someone I was talking classic!Who with gave me the following:
Okay so for 1: Any of the ones with Barbara, Ian and Vicki - My favourite so far is the Rescue (seconding Barbara and Ian, they're delightful)
For 2 I'd say Tomb of The Cybermen and probably Seeds of Doom. 
For 3: The Ambassadors of Death (for Liz Shaw who is awesome), Time Warrior (SJ is only just settling in but she's awesome) ad probably Green Death (because Jo Grant is adorable)
For 4: Anything with Leela, I'd say Robots Of Death (plus then you get bonus!Toos) The whole Key To Time arc and any of the ones with Lalla Ward because she's awesome.
For 5: hm, well, most of his are a bit meh for me but my fave has to be Castrovalva (plus then you get Master)
For 6: Again, some of his are ropey... but I'll say Mark Of The Rani (because the Rani is hilarious)
For 7: EVERYTHING with Ace... but seriously Battlefield is awesome. 
Personally, I was curious about individual characters, like the Master, Romana, Sarah Jane and Ace…
Hope that's helpful ^_^

[justascrewup2.livejournal.com]

Nice. Have made a note of the classic Who stuff :) If you do watch any Torchwood, let me know what you think.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Will do! ^_^

[akkajemo.livejournal.com]

"He carried his wife under his skin, shifting with his every breath, ethereal and ever so there."

This line is as haunting as the encounter itself. Thank you for this.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Thank you for commenting! That's one of my favourite lines too :D

[arwen-elen.livejournal.com]

this totally captures river and eleven, the echo is his wife, the ghost of their love. his grief is palpable here. but it also shows she isn't truly lost from him, she will always be with him. truly beautifully written.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

:D Thank you so much for commenting! Yes, yes and yes to your comments. All the powerful emotion. I love that ship. ♥

[honeynoir.livejournal.com]

Well, I should not have rewatched NotD before reading this. ;_; (Except it totally enhanced all the feels, so it was the right decision after all. ;))

This is like... the embodiment of Eleven/River and how he deals with being widowed told through the Doctor's body language and solemnity and memories. It's gorgeous.

He carried his wife under his skin, shifting with his every breath, ethereal and ever so there.
Most perfect line. Even more perfect with the angst of NotD.

He'd told her how long it'd been since he had let anyone that close. He'd told her that love was dangerous. She had laughed, and agreed, and kissed him like nothing else mattered.
&hearts!!! THIS SHIP AKKSGKDGL &C.

[flowsoffire.livejournal.com]

Well, I should not have rewatched NotD before reading this. ;_; (Except it totally enhanced all the feels, so it was the right decision after all. ;))
Yessssssss you should! :D Well, it was really finale-fresh and full of that atmosphere, so yes, the combination works… :D

This is like... the embodiment of Eleven/River and how he deals with being widowed told through the Doctor's body language and solemnity and memories. It's gorgeous.
Krkrkrkrkr :D *grinning and incoherent*

&hearts!!! THIS SHIP AKKSGKDGL &C.
I know right? XD *hugs in messy feels*

Thank you so much for commenting, dear :D