flowsoffire: (Oswin)
[personal profile] flowsoffire
Title: And the shields are left to rust
Author: flowsoffire
Fandom: Doctor Who
Pairing/characters: Clara Oswald, Eleven and the TARDIS
Genre: Drama/Angst
Rating: K+
Word count: c. 400
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.
Summary: Staring at a blue box, she can feel it staring back—deep within, deeper than she knows herself. Clara and the TARDIS never do get along. A tiny drabble set during Hide.
Author's note: A tiny Clara drabble, set during Hide as the Doctor and Clara rush back to the TARDIS. It's my first time writing her. Happened at 5 in the morning too, hopefully that doesn't say a thing about the quality ;) Enjoy!
(Title is a line from the Florence And The Machine song What the Water Gave Me.)


Through the garden in the rushing of the storm, they ran.

Clara pushed on her shorter legs to keep up with him. So much running they always did—it was ludicrous, really, and ludicrous she enjoyed it so much. She could think of a fair few other ludicrous things, however, and only half-heartedly scowled as the rain slapped her face—stupid, creepy storm, as if she should be scared by that part of things, stupid way-too-freaking-tall alien whose arm she was firmly clinging to.

(Don't trust him. There's a sliver of ice in his heart.)

It might just be too late. Oh, how she hated to think that.

Having the gall to tut at her, he rushed ahead. Into his box, disappearing there.

And Clara's heart sank, and she cursed herself for her foolishness. The miracle box stood so ominous. Its door shut, merciless, and she had to rush, with a sickening jolt in her chest. As she eventually entered, her lungs felt tight and the lights overhead flashed so coldly at her. She felt tiny and out of place, like her rumpled, dripping umbrella, at the entrance of a temple.

Something off, not right. A buzz at the back of her neck, an icy shiver like those she had felt getting up in the mornings, after—when her mother hadn't been there to greet her with a smile, anymore. Like when she had stood in the Soviet submarine, death hovering around and the Doctor running off ahead.

The wheels of fate, turning. Oh, silly Clara, she was more sensible than that. She shook the umbrella.

A faint rumbling from the engines.

Oh, shut up. But she dared not move closer at first, as the Doctor skipped around the console, mad flailing limbs somehow arranging themselves in the allotted space and over the controls with a precision she normally wouldn't have expected from him. But he fell into place there, when he would stand out so ridiculously anywhere else. She could have grinned in fondness.

She didn't.

A cat indeed, an old cat with time claws, subtly brushing somewhere beneath her skin. A cat had those mysterious haughty eyes. And that TARDIS may not have eyes, but she had stared Clara down all right, blue and glowing, dripping into the night like something eternal standing there. Now, inside, those lights flashed accusing, blinding her for seconds at a time. The Doctor danced in the gleam, at ease.

Do shut up. Drop the dignified-time-thing act. You want him for yourself, plain and simple.

And the umbrella dripped on, dismal.

"You need a place to keep this."

"I've got one," he said, pointing somewhere.

He didn't.

Date: 2013-05-07 04:36 pm (UTC)
radiolaires: (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiolaires
Ah, pretty and thinky! I didn't expect less. Lots and lots of details in there and hints and thoughts. And as always so well-written.

Her legs being too short, the running being ludicrous, the way-too-freaking-tall alien... Perfect beginning. Which makes the rush and halt before the closed door even more striking... 'You shall not pass' indeed.

The miracle box stood so ominous. Its door shut, merciless, and she had to rush, with a sickening jolt in her chest. As she eventually entered, her lungs felt tight and the lights overhead flashed so coldly at her. She felt tiny and out of place, like her rumpled, dripping umbrella, at the entrance of a temple.
This is my favourite part because you really read a sense of danger and crushing silent power emanating from the TARDIS -which I think was lacking in the Journey episode. So I'm tremendously glad you wrote it. Not only a magic box, she is something powerful, thus dangerous, we seem to forget that. It is as a mute and impossible box that the TARDIS is most threatening, not as a mystery. She is a sentient ship, an inhabited, haunted vessel, like, as you wrote, a temple. There is a presence and essence within those walls and THIS is more terrifying than zombies in corridors... Inside the TARDIS, Clara seems to feel pressed, because she is, as her umbrella, folded to fit in what is essentially another dimension. And Clara feels it because of what she is? (I want the finale now)

The wheels of fate, turning.
Oh, I really like that image, especially after Journey to the Centre of the TARDIS... Something/someone is pulling the strings and the plan is huge. And Clara a wheel...

The description of the Doctor's limbs surprinsingly falling into place in the TARDIS was extremely accurate because for all his power and intelligence he still is an alien and his body language betrays him as much as his time machine.

You also encapsulated so well Clara's general reaction to the Doctor when you say 'she could have smiled' but didn't. That's what I adore about Clara, she's much, much warier of him than any companion -frankly I would be. Obviously the way he acts around her is weird and she senses it. She's right to act as if she is tested constantly; she puts on a face for him. At the end of the day, she always comes back home because she sees she doesn't belong with him - no 'but I was going to be with you forever' which is cute but a bit unrealistic considering all of them know he is an ageless alien. We discussed it before, it doesn't mean he lives his relationships in a superficial way -well, a bit, but he has to protect himself, he is no Knulp-, it is to him short, but intense.

Oh, the metaphor of the cat with time claws, delicious, absolutely. Because cats, more than any other pets, seem to tolerate us rather than live with us -'peasant, I shall share this part of my sofa only because you take so much place'. The TARDIS similarly acts with everybody including the Doctor. And I think you may just have hit the nail on the head with 'those lights flashed accusing'. The TARDIS knows who Clara is, something worse than Jack who was a walking time anomaly, yet she is not aggressive, she doesn't want to kill Clara, she seems to resent her. We'll see, soon...

Of course, smart girl, Clara would see it as jealousy on her part, she sensed how 'alive' the TARDIS is.

Loved the ending, it fell like and axe. Accused: Clara. Verdict: guilty. Sentence: Guillotine.

It was extremely insightful. I love gap-fillers and this one is really good and tickles the mind when it comes to finding who is Clara... On the threshold, between the lines, but right on the spot. It is as good as meta ;)

Date: 2013-05-08 06:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
Thank you so much for the wonderful comment! You madwoman, it’s longer than the fic. ;)
Ah, you’re very right about the Journey vs. Hide thoughts. I actually hadn’t thought of that at all, because Journey!TARDIS is chaotic and basically breaking apart, so I hadn’t given much thought to that sense of quiet menace not being there any longer. But it makes a lot of sense and it could have added something—on Clara’s side, the threat in Journey was mostly coming from the dead!monster!self, not so much the TARDIS.
Can I just say how much I love your thoughts about the TARDIS? They’re both absolutely right and very beautiful. And most of the time the TARDIS is homey, accepting, a safe and protecting place for the companions (because they’re the Doctor’s friends, since she sees them as strays…), so it’s really striking with Clara, that ominous side. And yes, Clara being oppressed and folded… I just love you. You read deeper into my own work than I’d thought of going myself ;)
Indeed, the Doctor/Clara dynamic is just much more complicated… He’s never had so many secrets from anyone right from the start—in s6 it was back-and-forth secrecy, his not talking about Amy’s pregnancy scans to protect her while the Ponds kept quiet about knowing about his death, with River the spoilers are a necessity and his RTD relationships were much more straightforward, but here he chooses not to share what he knows about her. He could confront her, decide that she has a right to know, know the part of her being she ignores, know that she is being protected and from what (well, he doesn’t know from what—but know about the dying). He chooses otherwise. He brings her around on seemingly random trips, all the while picking discreetly at her mystery, trying to elicit reactions or seek external insight (Emma). And even though he’s very fond of her and has grown to trust her, deep down he is still wary because he doesn’t know what she’s about—though she doesn’t know herself. "What are you, a trick, a trap?" etc. And as you said, he’s being weird—he came to her out of nowhere, never explained where he knew her from… she even remembered seeing him at her mum’s grave. They’re both putting on a face—quite fitting. And that’s a wonderful argument, pointing out that she always comes back home! I hadn’t given it much thought, but you’re absolutely right. *does the happy dance of great ideas being brought up*
'peasant, I shall share this part of my sofa only because you take so much place'
Accused: Clara. Verdict: guilty. Sentence: Guillotine.

I love you for those. Well. Even more.
The TARDIS knows who Clara is, something worse than Jack who was a walking time anomaly, yet she is not aggressive, she doesn't want to kill Clara, she seems to resent her. We'll see, soon...
Great point again! :D She doesn’t recognize Clara as a danger…
Thank you so much, again. Your feedback is brilliance :) *hugs*

Date: 2013-05-08 10:58 pm (UTC)
radiolaires: (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiolaires
Fear me, I'm a madwoman with a keyboard.

I think it was a mistake not to exploit it in the JttCoTT, but in your fic it was just the right amount of power and stillness, yet not that menacing. I want to write a fic like that. I was waiting to see it because oh well, Black Narcissus, Psycho, even the Doctor's Wife did it so very well -the set is a character!
Hey, I'm a humanities student, I only do what I have been taught ;)
Oh, the paragraph about Clara and the Doctor... Exactly! And that's what makes it so difficult to write -though you cleared some things, I feel a little more confident about having a go at them-, they are hiding everything to everyone!
Don't encourage my random trippy side, you will regret it...
I WANT the finale. Now. I'm ready to know who she is. We have speculated on what needed to be speculated on, now I feel like we are stalling.
Thank you! *hugs you back*

Date: 2013-05-10 08:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
I fear thee.

I want to write a fic like that.
Are you kidding, I'd kill to write fics like yours…

Hey, I'm a humanities student, I only do what I have been taught ;)
*thumbs up*

I feel a little more confident about having a go at them
*beaming* why, that's excellent news!

Don't encourage my random trippy side, you will regret it...
Hush you.

I WANT the finale. Now. I'm ready to know who she is. We have speculated on what needed to be speculated on, now I feel like we are stalling.
This so much… I feel the same way, and I'm anxious about what happens of River… =P

Short, to-the-point (who said pointless) comments ftw. XD
Edited Date: 2013-05-10 08:20 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-05-13 05:16 pm (UTC)
radiolaires: (Default)
From: [personal profile] radiolaires
Are you kidding, I'd kill to write fics like yours…
Oh, how terrible we are... We should be called the lavishing French.

Date: 2013-05-13 08:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
We should be called the lavishing French.
This must be a thing. ^_^

Date: 2013-05-09 03:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] honeynoir.livejournal.com
This is so lovely! Loving the insight into all the characters... Clara talking to herself, the Doctor at the console, the TARDIS's time claws -- everything about how you're describing the TARDIS's effect on Clara is fantastic. Perfect scene!

Date: 2013-05-09 05:03 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
Yay, thanks a lot! I'm so happy you liked this ^_^ Thanks for commenting, love!

Date: 2013-05-09 06:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] honeynoir.livejournal.com
Heh, I always comment eventually! (I hope XD)
Oh, forgot: really enjoying the way you dealt w/ the height difference -- instead of being all "baww I'm too short" Clara's like "stupid tall man". Hee!

Date: 2013-05-09 08:23 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
You do :)
XD Clara is ace.
Oh, random question, do you make the pretty icons? Or else, where do you find them? :)

Date: 2013-05-09 08:36 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] honeynoir.livejournal.com
:)

Oh, random question, do you make the pretty icons? Or else, where do you find them? :)
Er, 99% of the time, hahaha no beyond my skill. For my current icons, the makers are in my icon keywords and the comms are their icon comms. Otherwise, check out [livejournal.com profile] dwicons, [livejournal.com profile] whoelite and who_daily usually lists icon posts in the newsletter. (I actually have made the two from JttCoTT, but they're the exception to the rule.)

Your Oswin icon is lovely, btw! Did you make it?
Edited Date: 2013-05-09 08:39 pm (UTC)

Date: 2013-05-09 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
Thaaaaanks, that looks amazing! I'll surely find great stuff over there =) And at least I'll know who to credit, lol.
Nope, I didn't—I must have picked off from somewhere on the Internet or fan Facebook pages, and forgot where now :( Now that I use the icons on several websites I try to be more careful about picking images a bit everywhere without minding the credit than when they were just stored on my computer for me to squee over… But I was pretty pissed off recently because most of my images I had get awfully distorted on AO3 for some reason, so some new ones will certainly come in handy :)

Date: 2013-05-29 02:05 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justascrewup2.livejournal.com
Interesting. I wonder if they're ever going to address this on the show, but I suspect that it's something to do with Clara's scattering through time and space we saw in NotD.

Date: 2013-05-29 07:38 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
I wonder the same thing! It's really rather odd they haven't used it thus far after using it that much, so maybe there's another layer to Clara's mystery… Anyway, thanks for commenting :)

Date: 2013-05-30 12:28 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justascrewup2.livejournal.com
Yeah, it would be nice if there was more to the overall Clara mystery - like showing the side effects of what she's done or she might run into another version of herself at some point. And they have definitely brought up the Tardis not liking Clara a lot in this back half of the series, so I would hope that Moffat addresses it at some point. I can see it not being a big enough deal to address in the 50th anniversary or Christmas epi though. I wish we knew how long of a wait it was until Series 8. But I'm sure we'll hear somewhere around Christmas ;)

Date: 2013-05-30 10:04 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
Yeah, it would be nice if there was more to the overall Clara mystery
And they have definitely brought up the Tardis not liking Clara a lot in this back half of the series, so I would hope that Moffat addresses it at some point.

*nods and nods*
Yeah… I wonder about s8 too =P Ah well… for now, we have the anniversary ahead.

Date: 2013-05-31 12:36 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] justascrewup2.livejournal.com
Yes, nice to have something to look forward to. I mean, they did leave us with just a bit of a cliffhanger....;)

Date: 2013-05-31 08:24 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
Yeah, just a bit ;)

Date: 2013-06-03 02:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] arwen-elen.livejournal.com
...A cat indeed, an old cat with time claws, subtly brushing somewhere beneath her skin. A cat had those mysterious haughty eyes. And that TARDIS may not have eyes, but she had stared Clara down all right, blue and glowing, dripping into the night like something eternal standing there. Now, inside, those lights flashed accusing, blinding her for seconds at a time. The Doctor danced in the gleam, at ease...

This was my favourite part of this story, a really interesting way of describing the TARDIS because in a way she's almost indescribable, but you totally catch her here.


I also really like the rushing of Clara's thoughts, like a kind of rushing of the rivers coming together, how your writing just weaves in and out of the maelstrom of her mind.

I found this a really well executed portrait of Clara :)

Date: 2013-06-03 03:06 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] flowsoffire.livejournal.com
Eeee, thank you! I'm particularly glad you liked that part. The cat metaphor in the show was too good to pass on.
*grinning* I'm swooning at the way you described Clara's thoughts, your comment itself was so poetic, I'm beyond gratified my fic triggered it ;)
Thank you again! I'm delighted you enjoyed my work =)

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